


Connections

by DeadGrrl



Series: Connections Series [1]
Category: Askewniverese
Genre: First Time, Language, M/M, M/M sexual situations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:33:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadGrrl/pseuds/DeadGrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A night out, a missed deal and Jay and Silent Bob make a few discoveries</p>
            </blockquote>





	Connections

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent Bob, and the Askewniverse. I'm just borrowing them for my own secret pleasures but promise to return them unharmed... but sated.
> 
> Notes: It started off with a request - someone I know wanted a cameo appearance. I thought it odd, but I aim to please. Then everyone wanted to be in it, and then well, then I just got carried away. So, yes, I have people like this in my life... Scary, isn't it? And no, don't give me any gruff about "Mary Sue", that bitch and me came to an understanding... that I don't give a shit and I write this heartfelt shit for fun.
> 
> Additional Notes: Smith has his own little Mewes, and I've got mine too.
> 
> To my Muse: Crash, who said those immortal words "I'm confident in my heterosexuality... Come on, put me in there," I'm forever grateful for all the encouragement you gave, and the all the laughs.
> 
> And my other Muse: Essa, who egged me on the entire way...thank you for inspiration and suggestions, lady. 
> 
> Remember when the lawyers come to get me, you two had no idea that's what I was doing with all my spare time.
> 
> Spoilers: Barely worth mentioning. For Dogma. One line of little importance.
> 
> Parting Remark: "It's Smith's World... And I'm gonna slash it."

"Connections"  
By DeadGrrl

"Of all the fuckin' bar's in all the world, dude had to pick this one." Jay scowled, pissed off at having to travel halfway across New Jersey just to make a deal. Standing in line Jay and Silent Bob waited to be admitted into the bar. The line was moving slowly as the bouncer checked I.D.'s and made small talk.

Bob smirked at Jay's deliberate misquote and quelled the urge to respond 'Play it again, Sam.' Instead he nodded his head in response and took a drag off his smoke.

"I mean this motherfucker better be ready to buy us a fucking round, making us haul ass all the way out to 'tim-butt-fuck-too' just to make a fucking deal. I swear, the shit I put up with all in the name of commerce." Jay shook his head in disgust.

The line moved again and Jay and Silent Bob stepped up to the front door. Standing in front of them was an attractive guy, whose face held a slight cast of Native American features, in a white t-shirt and black suede vest. Black jeans and leather boots added to the menacing image as he nodded. "Gentlemen, I.D.'s please." 

Jay grinned at the piercing blue eyes watching him in amusement. "Oh, fuck you, I.D.'s please. Like you don't know who we are. How the fuck you doing, Duke?"

Looking down his sharp nose Duke smiled menacingly at the two. As a moment passed Jay became uncomfortable and began to wonder why Duke was staring at them so. Leaning over he mumbled to Bob "Dude, I think he wants my ass or something. I ain't got time to blow him I gotta get in there and make my connection. You take him out back and give him a super suck or whatever and I'll meet you back here."

Bob's response was to narrow his eyes at Jay.

Duke ignored this exchange as he continued to stare at the long flowing blond hair... on the chick behind the two. "Shanna." Duke grinned as he motioned to the young lady behind the boys to come forward. The fine young thing flounced past Jay and Bob, kissed Duke on the cheek, pushed a strand of his long brown hair behind his ear and entered the bar.

Jay watched the halter top and hot pants clad girl bounce away. Nudging Bob, Jay asked "Shit, dude did you see that chick? Tits out to here, hair down to there, hootchie mama short half up her ass. Fuck, she's the kinda chick you'd wanna lush roll through the lobby."

Bob looked at Jay as he tried to guess if he had ever heard Jay utter that line before, or if Jay had gotten it from somebody. Shrugging his shoulders, Bob blinked away this ponderence as Duke re-focused his attention on them.

"I'm good Jay. You here on business or pleasure?"

Jay rolled his eyes, "Dude, I don't know where you get your info but I'm all about pleasure. Gonna drink some beers, maybe get a little bit of kitty..."

Duke nodded his head slowly, "Yeah. Right. Okay, just don't let me see nothing."

"Thanks man, but you know I gotta ask you a question. Why the fuck do they call you 'Duke'? Man, fucking John Wayne killed Indians and shit in those movies, and here you are a half-and-half and that's your nickname?"

"Get your skinny white-ass inside." Duke glared as he pointed for them to go. 

Jay led Bob into the bar and told him "See, I knew it! He wants me, he's been checking out my ass. You're lucky I distracted him Lunchbox, otherwise you'd be scrapping your knees in the bathroom."

Bob shook his head behind Jay and gave a sigh of resignation. 

"Go get us something to drink. I'm gonna scan the crowd, maybe line up someone to play with when I'm done here..." Jay told Bob as he moved into the crowd.

Bob watched Jay's retreating form for a moment and turned towards the main bar to get drinks.

Jay pressed through the crowd looking for the dude that was supposed to meet him. Guy with some name like Newt or Nate or some such shit. He was supposed to be sitting in the backroom with a bottle of vodka. A quick assessment of the area didn't reveal anyone.

This was definitely not Jay's scene. The crowded, smoke filled bar was hot and loud. Jay leaned against a wall, eyes scanning the crowd for Silent Bob. Where the fuck was that tubby bitch? Jay shifted as tried to lean into the wall more comfortably. Sending Bob to get some beers was probably a bad idea, but he didn't want to miss his connection. Jay sighed to himself, suddenly wanting to get this over with and out of the bar.

The crowd consisted of locals and young professionals looking to kick back or relieve some tension with a fast lay. Sighing again, Jay could use a lay himself. It had been way to long since anyone had graced his bed. Snorting to himself he thought of who he wanted in his bed and shook his head. Wasn't going to happen. No way, so there was no sense pondering it, no sense getting depressed about it. Regardless Jay felt his bad mood worsening into pure out pissy. Then someone bumped into him hard, knocking him off his feet.

"Motherfucker!" Jay swore as he pitched forward. Strong hands grabbed him and held him until he got his feet back under him.

"Sorry about that, man." Came a deep voice. 

Looking up and quickly squashing his retort, Jay looked into the eyes of a rather tall, rather big guy. The dude was huge with a muscular upper body. He was what someone would call "beefy" if one were inclined to describe the man in front of him. Looked like a bouncer from Hell, as he was dressed all in black. Dark long wavy hair pulled back tight into a ponytail and blue-green eyes, he looked slightly dangerous. Jay nodded his head, "Yah, whatever," and went back to holding up the wall.

The dark-haired stranger smiled at Jay, "Really, sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. Can I buy you a drink?" 

Jay frowned. "Shit, I've heard better pick-up lines in Sunday school." Jay rolled his eyes.

The guy raised his eyebrows at this, momentarily surprised. Then a small smile appeared on his lips as he replied, "If I were trying to pick you up, I wouldn't need a line."

Jay swallowed hard as he looked into strangers' eyes again. Shit, he was cute. Of course that just might be his libido making comparisons. It had to be the goatee... Well, he was horny.

"But I'm sure my boyfriend would be upset with me if I did that." The stranger replied. Jay scowled at this. Fuckin' figures, he thought to himself, I can't even find an available substitute fuck.

The stranger watched with amusement as a barrage of emotions had passed across the younger man's face. He guessed the blond to be in his 20's. It was hard to tell with the baby-face. He was cute, but he looked a little too wound up. The way he was scanning the crowd he must be waiting for someone important.

"I'm Crash, nice to meet you." He told Jay as he extended his hand.

Jay shook the hand in front of him and replied, "Yeah, I'm Jay. Nice to meet you and shit." Jay leaned back into the wall again. He raised his eyebrows and questioned, "Crash?"

Crash gave a grin, "It's a nickname. I've had it so long, and so many people use it, I just introduce myself that way." Jay nodded at this.

"I hear that shit. That reminds me of my boy, Silent Bob. Been calling him that for so long that no one remembers the fucks last name no more."

"Really?" Crash smiled as he placed a hand against the wall, leaning over Jay. 

Jay continued to scan the crowd and replied, "Yeah, I'd introduce you to him but Mute Boy seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle. Fucking figures, someone's probably tryin' to pick him up. Dude's a fucking sex magnet. I can't fucking take him anywhere without someone trying to lay him." Jay shook his head in disgust.

"So, you're not exclusive?" Crash asked with amusement.

"Hell's no. We ain't even fuckin'. We're just friends and shit. He's my Muscle." Jay responded off the cuff.

Crash pondered this for a moment and decided to press. "So he wouldn't care if I were to say, hit on you?"

"Fuck no, Bob don't give a shit. Just as long as you don't try to beat the shit out of me. But fucking me, that's a different... Hey! I ain't gay!" Jay responded with scowl. Where the fuck was Silent Bob, anyway?

 

Silent Bob waited patiently at the bar. He had unsuccessfully been trying to get drinks for the last 10 minutes. The press of the crowd was at least five people deep and the bartenders a flurry of movement. He was next in line, and was looking forward to getting back by Jay. God only knows what Jay had gotten into in the ten minutes he had been gone.

A young guy that stood next to him during their attempt to be served had struck up a conversation. Bob had grinned and nodded in the appropriate places, enough so that the guy had continued his discourse.

"So I'm chasing this asshole down on foot, and the guy runs into this abandoned warehouse. He's thinking that he'll be able to make it down to the docks and I dunno, swim his way to freedom or something. This motherfucker actually makes it out to the waterfront and jumps in. Only problem is that shit head can't swim. So not only do I get to rescue his ass, I actually make my first collar. How about that for fucked up?" Lorenzo finished his story.

Bob smiled and nodded his head. The young cop standing next to him had been regaling him with 'stupid criminal stories'. Bob had to agree that most criminals were, indeed, quite stupid. The stories had been funny, and Bob felt only slightly ill at ease with the cop. He was a friendly out-going kind of guy, and obviously enjoyed talking. Bob smiled at that, just like Jay. Lorenzo ended his story, as he was finally able to place his drink order.

Leaning over into Bob's earshot he asked, "What'll you have?"

"2 taps," Bob responded into Lorenzo's ear and began to dig out cash for the beer.

"Hey, put that away, my treat." Lorenzo responded as he waved off Silent Bob's money. Successful in finally getting drinks, Lorenzo handed Bob 2 beers and motioned to the backroom. "Come on over and hang with us after you find your buddy. I'll be over in the backroom with my friend. I'll see you later." Lorenzo nodded at Bob and pressed his way back through the crowd. Bob watched the cop retreat and leaned back over the bar. 

The bartender, an attractive, tall young woman with dark spiky hair, asked him "What's your pleasure? Blow Job or Tight Snatch?"

Bob's reply to this question was to widen his eyes, blink, then blush. 

The bartender waited a moment for his reply. Grinning she added, "The drink specials tonight... Blow Job is a shot. Tight Snatch is a rail drink. You're not a regular are you? Hey Dee, we got a virgin!" She called out excitedly to the other bartender.

A shorter woman with auburn hair pulled back in pigtails that hung only to her shoulders whisked past the brunette. "Ahhh, fresh meat!" She looked him up and down and finished her thought, "Yummy." She winked at Bob as she delivered a drink to the far end of the bar.

Bob blinked again, not quite sure what to make out of this exchange, but became worried as he noticed some of the crowd backing away from him. This, he suspected, was a bad sign.

The brunette was distracted momentarily by some drunk at the end of the bar yelling out to her. "Kay... Kay... gimmes a glash. I wanna, I wanna glash so I can drink me, my vodka. C'mon Kay..."

Shooting a look of annoyance at an extremely intoxicated blond guy at the end of the bar Kay replied "Are you still here? Didn't Duke throw your ass out yet? How the hell did you get in here anyway?"

As if on cue Duke showed up behind the blond and picked him up off the barstool. "Come on Nate, time for you to go."

"Hey! Duke, buddy!" the drunk exclaimed as the bouncer walked him out.

Shaking her head Kay looked at Silent Bob again. "So never heard of a Blow Job, huh? Where you from, the mid-west? Like Wisconsin or Omaha or the middle of America or something? Out there in the cornfields? Hey Dee, they got corn in Wisconsin?"

"I think that's all there is in Wisconsin is corn... and cows" The redhead called out, now on the other side of the bar. "That's about all they got to do out there is pick freaking corn, milk freaking cows."

"Or fuck deer." Kay concluded. Dee cackled. Bob's eyes widened.

"Anyhoo, take your time. Look over the menu and I'll be back." Kay winked at Bob as she took the next drink order. Bob looked at the extensive drink menu, baffled by the assortment of shots and specialty drinks. He had never heard of most of these drinks. He wondered what a 'Ladybug' was or God forbid a 'Hairless Asshole', and shuddered to think about what a 'Flaming Lemming' entailed. 'The Seven Deadly Shots of Sin' sounded far too complex to even attempt. Bob suspected he might be amused by the explanations if he weren't so busy being shocked. As he was reading the menu he realized to his horror that the bartenders we're having a conversation about him, quiet loudly.

"What's with stout and studly over there?" Dee called to Kay from the far end of the bar.

"I dunno, he's visiting from Wisconsin I think." Kay replied over the roar of the blender.

"That poor man. No one should have to go back to that place. Let's keep him!" Dee growled gleefully.

"Eh, he's cute but not my type."

"Come on! Look at that pretty portly pup! How could you say no?"

Bob felt his eyes widen again. Bob had heard many things, and had been subjected to being called many things by Jay. But never in his life had he been called a 'portly pup'. Or for that matter, 'pretty'. He wasn't sure which upset him more... either way the entire phrase made him uncomfortable.

Suddenly Dee was in front of him and asked, "You do know how to do a Blow Job don't you?"

Bob wasn't sure, but he thought the sensation he had just experienced was all the blood draining from his face. He stared at the young woman who was smiling in amusement.

"The shot, studly, the shot. First you put your hands behind your back..." Dee explained.

"And then you find someone you really love..." Kay interjected "Cause if you're gonna spend any amount of time on your knees getting a stiff neck it should be for someone you love."

Dee gave a snort of laughter. "And then you bend forward..."

"Whoa! That ain't a blow job!" Kay called out.

Dee shook her head as she continued. "And place your mouth over the rim..."

"Hold up! That really ain't a blow job!"

"Of the glass." Dee concluded as she shot Kay a look. "And toss your head back..." Dee paused waiting for the comment, none was forthcoming. "And suck the shot from the glass."

"Extra points for tongue!" Kay called out.

"Bitch, shut up!" Dee yelled at Kay, laughing out loud. "So, figured out what you're having?" she asked Bob. Bob shook his head no.

"Well, hurry up, we're only here till midnight. Then me and wonder-thighs over there are off. Say, studly, you're not going to be leaving till at least then, right? No matter, I have a special booth in back, we can put you there until we're done."

"Dee, they took out our booth." Kay corrected her fellow bartender as she poured some taps.

"They what?" Dee looked at Kay in confusion. "When? Why?"

"I dunno something about Scotchguard break down and permanent staining." Kay replied.

"Those damn Scots! If it weren't for those kilts. Damn! If we'd have gone with the naugahide we'd still have a booth!"

"But think of all those innocent Nauga's that would have died for your wipe on, wipe off convenience." Kay responded with a grin.

"Figures. Bastard Children of the Universe feel the smack down yet again." Dee shook her head in disgust. "Okay studly, you've been a good sport, and you're cute to boot, so I'm gonna make you a Purple Motherfucker-shut-your-mouth-Kay." Dee concluded, cutting off the possibility of comment by her co-worker as she assembled the shot in a large mixer.

Kay stopped by as Dee finished shaking the shot and placed out 4 shot glasses on top the bar as Dee began to pour. "One for you, one for me, one for Kay and one for the road." She smiled at Bob. Bob nodded and picked up his shot.

"A toast," Kay began and rambled off something in a Scottish accent that sounded kind of like English, possibly Gaelic and possibly not. They clinked glasses and downed their drinks.

Bob stared questioningly at Kay. Dee relayed his thoughts as she asked, "What the hell did we just drink to?"

"It's an old Scottish Toast. Roughly translated it means, May your hills find valleys, your lemmings life preservers and your pretty portly pups a place to sit."

Dee stared at Kay as she bounced off to take another order. Looking back at Bob she commented, "I've known her for ten years, and sometimes I don't even know where the hell she comes up with this stuff. No matter. Here, take the rest of the shot and enjoy." She concluded as she poured out the last of liquid in the mixer. "If you're still here at midnight Kay and I will be happy to help you earn a scarlet letter. If not, stop in again sometime." She gave Bob a dazzling smile and was gone.

Bob picked up the shots and the beers and walked away from the bar, feeling slightly dazed.

As Dee stopped by the sink to wash a few glasses Kay leaned over into her earshot. "Portly pup?" she asked with a grin.

Dee laughed as she dunked glasses into sanitizer. "Shit, he was cute. Quiet, but cute. I bet he's a screamer though." she leered.

Kay chuckled. "I don't think you'll get a chance to find out, lady. Did you see the blond he came in with?"

Dee shook her head as she placed glasses on the drying mats. "A little competition is healthy."

"Dee, the blond boy that portly pup came in with."

"Ah, fuck. It figures. Score: Bastard Children - none, the Universe - at least 103." Dee replied as Kay rolled her eyes. Dee shook off her hands, turned back to the crowd with a smile and growled "Next!"

Kay laughed at her friend as she walked over to a young man who had just taken a seat in her area. Nodding her head at the blond, she took in his good looks and what she could see of his tall frame, muscular physic. "Florida Dude... how they hanging?" she gave a wicked grin as the guy blushed. God, she loved this job.

 

Lorenzo had successfully made his way through the crowd. Upon reaching the fringe he came upon his friend, and immediately asked "Honey, who's this?"

Crash looked up from his conversation at Lorenzo and smiled. "This is Jay. Jay this is Lorenzo."

Jay looked slightly stunned as he gave a "Hey," to Lorenzo. 

Lorenzo smiled at the scene before him. Crash had his arm casually draped over Jay's shoulder. Jay looked excited and scared, but mostly excited. Handing Crash his drink Lorenzo stood along the other side of Jay and asked, "So what are we doing with Jay?"

"Talking, we're just talking." Jay interjected. 

The other guy standing next to Jay was almost as tall as Crash, and the dude was lean but ripped. Spiky brown hair and bright blue eyes that were looking at Jay in what could be amusement or could be assessment. Jay felt nervous; both these guys were bigger than he was. Crash had been flirting for the last 10 minutes and Jay had started flirting back, just a little, just for the hell of it. Nothing was going to happen but it was still fun to toss around a little innuendo. Jay could be subtle but rarely, if ever, was. It was kind of fun talking with this guy, and he had been starting to enjoy the banter. But this guy's boyfriend could easily kick his ass and just might.

"We were progressing toward kissing, but then you showed up." Crash concluded. 

Jay felt his eyes go wide. Oh shit...

Lorenzo frowned and then smiled. He took Crash's drink back and replied "Well, by all means, go ahead."

Crash grinned at Lorenzo and leaned over and lightly kissed Jay, his tongue gently brushing Jay's lips as he broke off the kiss. Jay was unaware that his eyes could open wider, but discovered otherwise.

Lorenzo frowned at Crash. "If that's how you're gonna kiss him how do you expect him to come home with us? Honestly, Crash. Here." Lorenzo handed off the drinks to Crash. "Now if you're gonna seduce boys to take home, you ought to do it right."

Jay felt his mouth go dry. Oh, fuck, he thought absently as Lorenzo's arm slide around his waist. Jay's mouth fell open, about to interject that this was a bad idea, when Lorenzo's mouth was suddenly on his. The kiss was slightly aggressive and Lorenzo's tongue gently pushed into his mouth. Jay felt his eyes flicker closed as Lorenzo's mouth continued to move against his. I don't fuckin' believe this, Jay thought absently.

A moment later the mouth was suddenly gone as if someone had forcibly removed Lorenzo.

 

Bob started to push back through the crowd. As he reached a less dense area he scanned the crowded backroom for Jay. When he saw Jay he almost dropped the drinks. Jay was up against a wall having his tonsils examined by Lorenzo... the Cop.

Bob's very first gut reaction had been... jealousy. That gave Bob a split second of pause. He pushed those thoughts immediately out of the way. His feelings weren't really as important as the fact that Jay was carrying a large amount of weed in his inner coat pocket, enough to insure some jail time. Placing the drinks on a table that he was passing Bob quickly thought of his options. Discarding most of them as too risky or bound to get them arrested anyway he took the only option he could come up with on such short notice.

Pulling Lorenzo away from Jay, Bob pulled Jay to him. He looked Jay in the eyes then kissed him hard on the mouth.

Jay blinked, struck dumb by the fact that Bob had his arms around him, a hand firmly grasping his ass. Not to mention that Bob was kissing him. Jay's eyes slid closed as Bob's lips continued to press his. As Bob's tongue swept into his mouth he gave a low moan and pulled Bob closer to him by the lapels of his jacket. Bob pushed Jay against the wall and continued to devour his mouth.

A few long moments passed as they kissed. Jay completely forgot everything going on around them. He pulled Bob closer still and wrapped his arms around Bob's neck. Breaking apart for a moment Jay's eyes opened. He was looking at Bob, who was panting slightly. Jay's own breath was coming in gasps. They looked at each other as Jay leaned his forehead against Bob's.

"Hi..." Jay said shyly as he looked into Bob's eyes. Bob replied with a wink.

Jay gave a tentative smile in return. Bob smiled back and lightly kissed Jay's lips again.

"Hey, how about we get out of here?" Jay asked quietly. Bob nodded, took Jay's hand and pulled him away from the two other men and out of the bar.

"What was that about?" Lorenzo asked Crash.

Crash smiled as he placed his arm around his boyfriend's waist. "'Wuv, true wuv.' I think."

Lorenzo grinned back at Crash. "Well, whatever. I'm glad they left." 

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I really would have hated to bust the kid for whatever he was carrying in his front jacket pocket."

"You're kidding."

"I am not. He was carrying, I could feel it when I was up against him."

"Really... " Crash pondered this for a moment and pulled Lorenzo into a tight embrace. "Can you tell what I'm carrying?" he asked mischief in his eyes.

"Oh yeah, I know what you're carrying, baby." Lorenzo responded in a low growl as he kissed his lover and spent a long moment 'patting' him down.

Outside of the bar Bob gave a deep sigh of relief. He continued to pull Jay away from the establishment and down the street, hands still entwined. Bob stopped, grabbed a cigarette out of his pocket and let go of Jay's hand in order to light it. Jay stood next to Bob, leaning into him. Bob offered him the cigarette and Jay took a puff. They stood under a streetlight for a moment as Silent Bob took a deep drag and tried to calm down, Jay still standing beside him.

Bob looked away from Jay, trying to control his emotions. It wasn't working. Bob looked at Jay who had a bemused smile on his face.

"You are going to be the death of me yet." Bob told Jay in a deceptively calm voice.

Jay smiled, looked down at his feet and asked "Oh?"

Bob closed his eyes and counted to ten. "Do you have any idea who you were sucking face with?" Opening his eyes he saw Jay's confused look.

"No, should I have?"

"A cop, Jay. You were kissing a vice squad cop. I saw you over there, and I just about had a heart attack. What the fuck were you doing?" Bob's voice remained surprisingly calm, however the hand holding his cigarette gestured a little more violently with every word. 

"A cop." Jay's face took on a blank expression. "So that's why you... I get it. All in the line of duty, and shit. Well, fuck... Thanks Lunchbox. I appreciate it." Jay concluded. As he finished his sentence he felt all of his walls shifting back into place. This wasn't going to be a problem; he could deal with it.

Bob closed his eyes again and counted to twenty this time. Looking at Jay he saw that his friend was trying very hard not to let any of his emotions show. Jay was doing a good job, except for that hurt look in his eyes. Sighing to himself, Bob wondered why it could never be easy.

"You are the most difficult prick on the face of the planet..." Bob started, tossed away his smoke and pulled Jay into an embrace. As his lips met Jay's he felt the blond's resolve to remain unmoved begin to waiver. A few moments more had Jay kissing him back, his arms wrapping around Bob's shoulders, eyes closed.

Bob's hand cupped Jay's face. "Jay?" 

Jay kept his eyes tightly shut and responded with a breathy "Yeah?" Jay was shaking, he knew he was shaking, and that was very uncool. Shut up and kiss me goddamn it, he thought to himself. If he was going to lose their friendship he at least wanted this moment to remember, the feel of Bob's arms around him, his lips... Only Silent Bob had chosen this exact moment to become a chatty motherfucker.

"Look at me, Jay."

Jay's eyes opened and he was looking down into the gentle smiling face of Silent Bob. He focused on Bob's eyes and suddenly felt as if the world had dropped out from beneath his feet. He couldn't read the expression that Bob was giving him. It looked slightly familiar, Jay thought that he had caught a glimpse of it on other occasions but wasn't willing to commit on that verdict. He let go of Bob, ready to back off.

Bob continued to stare at Jay for a few long moments, watching his face as Jay worked through exactly was happening, and exactly where it was going. Jay was scared, turn-and-bolt kind of scared. Bob's hand caressed Jay's face as he waited. He watched Jay pass through every emotional state possible from shock to fear, disbelief to elation, doubt to wonder. It all passed across Jay's face in those few moments. Where Jay ended up was going to determine what happened next.

Jay's expression paused on somewhere between 'amazement' and 'anticipation'. It hovered there and finally took roost. He wet his lips as he continued to stare at Silent Bob, for the first time in his life unable to put words to what he was thinking.

Bob leaned into Jay and asked softly, "Are you ready?"

Jay released his breath in a shudder, unaware that he had been holding it. He wrapped his arms around Bob's shoulders as he tucked his face into Bob's neck, behind long dark hair. Whispering, as if it were a secret, Jay responded "Yes, yes, ready. Really ready. You waited. You waited longer that you should have had to. Bob... ten years... Yes, yes... I'm ready... finally... Yes." Jay was shaking again, but it was a good kind of shaking. Like he could barely control how much he wanted to be exactly where his was, and how much he wanted Bob to know that he was happy to be where he was. Bob's arms held him tightly as Jay kept his face in the dark strands of hair, breathing in the scent of Bob and trying to figure out why the fuck he felt like crying.

Bob stroked his hands down Jay's back as he smiled at the apology. Ten years wasn't so long. He'd have waited another ten, and possibly twenty, to have Jay, and have Jay be sure. In his head, Bob figured they were actually ahead of schedule. No complaints from him. He was happy that Jay was ready and that he was sure he was ready. Everything was about to change for the most wonderful of reasons...

But right now there was this moment. Bob was thinking of how fondly he would recall it to friends, to himself when he would think about when they finally made this connection, and most importantly to Jay, years from now when they would look back on a life together. He rested his cheek against the fair head on his shoulder. Jay sighed into his neck. Bob whispered into Jay's hair, "Sweetheart, let's go home."

This gave Jay pause. The automatic caustic comment that normally would be spewed out at such a term of endearment was strangely absent. Instead his face was flushed, the term 'sweetheart' having caused him to blush. No one had ever called him that. But he liked it, or more appropriately he liked that Bob had been the one to say it to him. It had been worth the wait. He nodded and slipped out of Bob's embrace.

Bob watched the still slightly stunned Jay as he took his hand and they walked to the bus stop. Bob couldn't help but smile at the look of disbelief on Jay's face. Jay would look at Bob, give him a sheepish smile and look away. As they stood waiting for their bus Jay leaned into Bob, not speaking, just smiling. He'd lean forward and kiss Bob's lips quickly every now and then, touch his forehead to Bob's and just smile. Jay would then glance off into the distance and give a little snort of disbelief, shaking his head and then repeat the proceedings.

As others gathered at the bus stop Jay continued to hold Bob's hand, still smiling, still silent. When someone approached them for a light Bob released Jay's hand to dig his lighter out of his coat pocket. Bob then lit a cigarette of his own and hung it from his mouth. As soon as he put back his lighter Jay was holding his hand again, warm palm squeezing his gently. Bob smiled in amusement. Jay wiggled his eyebrows at Bob and winked. Bob chuckled out loud at this. Jay was obviously overcoming his shock and any moment now his mouth was going to kick in. Bob grinned, then thought what all this was going to do for his reputation of being a bad ass. Schooling his expression into a frown Bob attempted to look dangerous. He took a drag off his cigarette.

Jay leaned over and conveyed in his normal low conversational tone, "Dude, we are sooo gay."

Bob exhaled his smoke with a burst of coughing, caught off guard by the comment. Tears came to his eyes as he conceded to the comment with a nod.

"I dunno about you, but I don't feel any different. Maybe I will after we fuck. We are going to fuck aren't we? I mean none of this 'I love you but I respect you too much to throw you a bone' bullshit, right?" Jay asked as he let go of Bob's hand and slapped him on the back in an attempt to end the coughing fit. Bob nodded at Jay's question and looked into his eyes.

"And another thing, I ain't gonna go for that separate rooms shit either. And you ain't gonna refer to me as 'the roommate'. I can't stand that shit. If you're gonna fuck me, you're gonna have to sleep with me. I don't wanna be getting down and then be sent back to my room. That ain't fucking right." Jay paused as one of the other patrons waiting stared at them. "What the fuck are you looking at? Piss off or I'll dick slap you into next week, nootch."

Bob watched Jay in amazement. Jay was handling this much better then Bob expected him to. It was almost disappointing, except that Bob was enjoying it far too much to be disappointed. Bob tossed off his smoke, suspecting that he was safer not inhaling anything while Jay was on a roll.

"Oh, and we need to stop and get some lube. I'm out and I know you ain't been with anybody for-fucking-ever. You weren't pining for me and shit, were you? I sure fucking hope not. I got enough of a guilt complex about the last ten years to be taking it up the ass for at least a month. Cripes, add emotional distress and at this rate I get to slide you the bone hopefully by the time I'm thirty. And for godsakes, will you breathe? Shit, if I gotta give you mouth-to-mouth right here on the street corner this slut over here is liable to pass out in an orgasmic fit. Back off sister, he's taken." Jay called to the young woman waiting with them.

Bob covered his face with his hand, shaking in silent laughter.

"I don't like how that chick's looking at you. I better kiss you to make sure she knows you're all about the bone." Jay casually mentioned to Bob before he pulled him into an embrace and kissed him firmly. As Jay's tongue dived into his mouth Bob found himself reiterating his previous thought. Jay was handling this very nicely, indeed.

"Now that's what it's about. Christ, where did you learn to kiss like that? Never mind, I probably don't want to know. And next time could you actually hold me? I know you're obsessed with wearing that damn coat, but if you don't get your fuckin' hands out of your pockets I'm gonna torch that mother. Granted you look like a sexy thug, but you can be a sexy thug with your hands on your boyfriend's ass just as well. Don't give me that look. You know I'm hot for you in that coat. Oh fuck you, why do you think I bought it for you? Fuck, we didn't make rent that month, but you had a new coat. What part of this did you miss? Honest to God, I was just happy to get that skanky leather trench out of the apartment. Jesus, made you look like a reject from a fuckin' John Hughes movie. Judd Nelson couldn't have made that coat look good, not even on his harshest day." Jay's voice carried on as Bob interjected his opinions with some well-placed facial expressions.

"I know, I know, you worship him. Hey, you ain't got some crush here that I need to know about, do you? Good, cause I ain't about to dye my hair black and fall out of a ceiling for your ass, no matter how much booty I'm gonna get for it."

Bob sighed and looked heavenward; thinking sometimes you should be careful what you wish for... And how sometimes you get exactly what you want, need and wished for and it can't get any better. Bob smiled at the thought.

"And another thing, I don't care if you call me your 'boyfriend' or 'lover' or 'significant other' or 'squeaky toy of love'. But if you ever introduce me as a 'friend' I'll cut you off for a month." Jay paused as he noticed the approaching bus. Nodding to it's arrival he told Bob, "Come on, I'll let you sit next to me on the bus. If you're nice I'll let you hold my hand and maybe kiss me on the cheek when you take me home." he smirked. Bob raised his eyebrows at this proposal and nodded. Jay leaned forward and kissed him quickly as he took Bob's hand and led him to the bus.

Three hours later they arrived back at their apartment, after the all-important trip to the drug store. That had been amusing, Bob thought to himself. Jay's best comment out the whole shopping trip had been, "Dude, that little bottle? Don't they sell this shit in quarts or gallons or something? That can't possibly be enough. "

Now however, they were rolling around on the living room floor, seeing as how Jay attacked him the minute the door shut. Frantic kisses were exchanged as jackets were shucked off and a few comical moments were spent as they both attempted to get the other out of his clothing first. This had lead to their current state of partial undress as they writhed around on the floor. Jay was currently under Bob, moaning as hot kisses were trailed down his torso and Bob's hands tugged at the zipper on his jeans.

"Oh, fuck... Bob... damn..." Jay's mouth tumbled out as Bob's mouth came in contact with his cock. Jay's breathing was already a wild staccato as Bob's mouth swept up and down his dick. As Bob hollowed his cheeks Jay's hands grabbed Bob's head and tugged him upward. "Not yet. Not yet..." Jay panted as his hand flailed around the floor for the bag they had brought home.

Finally finding the bag Jay shook out the contents and pressed the bottle into Bob's hands. "Better if I ain't come yet, so I can concentrate on that." Jay told him.

Bob nodded as he took the pre-offered bottle from Jay. Jay kissed him as his hands busily unzipped and tugged at Bob's pants, yanking them off. Bob flipped open the container as Jay kicked off his own jeans and boxers, lying back of the floor waiting. Pulling off his sweatshirt he stretched out next to Jay. Jay's hands were stroking Bob's chest, as if Bob need reassurance.

"Come on Lunchbox, don't make me wait no more." Jay whispered softly to Bob, his legs falling open. Bob nodded, his fingers slicked and trembling slightly as they dipped between Jay's thighs. It was the gentlest of touches and the response was a sharp intake of breath.

"Cold." Jay shuddered.

"Sorry." Bob said gently, removed his fingers warming the lube between them and tried again. "Better?"

Jay gave a smaller gasp and nodded "Yeah." His eyes fluttered closed as Bob's fingers circled the tight opening. Bob slowly, gently pressed one finger into Jay. Jay's eyes shot open and a small sound escaped from him. "Oh..."

Bob immediately stopped moving, watching Jay's surprised expression.

"I didn't think it'd feel... That's just a finger, right?" Jay asked in wonder.

Bob frowned as he replied "We don't have to. You don't have to Jay."

"No. No, I don't, but I want to. I want you to, please, Bob... Just, just give me a minute here..." Jay told him firmly. "And for fucksake kiss me and remind me why I'm laying on the floor of our living room with your finger stuck up my ass." 

Bob mouth covered Jay's immediately, kissing him softly. Jay's hand tangled into Bob's hair pulling him closer as Jay's tongue slipped into Bob's mouth. Bob moaned softly as Jay hungrily kissed him, his hands unconsciously twitching in reaction. Jay gave a strangled gasp and Bob broke off the kiss.

"Jay?"

"You... Your hand..." Jay gasped.

"Sorry, are you okay?"

"No... Yes... Do that again..."

Bob looked down upon Jay's trembling form and tried to figure out what it was that he had done. He slowly curled his finger and Jay gave a low moan. 

"Oh God. Bob. Jesus." Jay's eyes flicked closed again. Bob watched Jay's face and carefully began a slow stroking movement, working his finger in and out of Jay, hooking it slightly as it was full embedded.

"Fuck..." Jay began to breathe heavily as Bob's thick finger pushed into him again, settling on a steady movement. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to do this at first. But he had wanted Bob so badly that he had decided any discomfort was worth having to have Bob in him. Jay craved the closeness, wanted the completion, needed Bob to do him. Nothing else really mattered except that he'd be Bob's, and Bob would know, just like he did, that it was for real. Not to mention that Bob made him hotter than an entire rack of pornos, so it was no burden to be naked with him. Jay had the cavalier approach of 'It can't be that bad,' and 'I can get use to it'. But then Bob had done something, touched something, and it was amazing. It still hurt a little yet, but when Bob hit that spot the hurt disappeared and Jay felt his entire body clawing at the floor trying to hold on to that feeling.

"Bob... Uh, God... Bob..." Jay's voice had taken on a breathy quality. "Bob, I need... Bob..." he panted, not making any sense but as a second finger joined the first he was grateful that Bob had understood him nonetheless.

Bob was leaning over Jay, kissing him as his fingers stretched Jay. His other arm was now curled under Jay's head, holding him close. Jay's eyes were tightly shut and Bob watched the play of emotions and sensations across his face. Glancing lower he noted that Jay was still hard, his long thin cock slick with pre-come. This reassured Bob a little that Jay was also getting something out of this. He knew him far too well, and recognized that Jay wanted this so bad that he'd put up with anything to have it. Bob didn't need proof of anything, he knew. Nonetheless it was gratifying to know that Jay wanted him so much. The hand on his shoulder gripped him a little more tightly and then slid to his neck, pulling him down as Jay kissed him roughly. Bob was now partially lying over Jay, the blond's hand holding him firmly.

"One more, Bob." Jay whispered into his ear as he broke off the kiss. "Gimme one more." Jay's voice was beginning to take on a ragged quality as his breathing came in shuddering gasps. Bob kissed him hard and worked a third finger into Jay. Jay gave a low moan into Bob's mouth at the invasion. Jay's voice became strangely absent in the proceedings but the small sounds he emitted made up for the absence of speech.

Suddenly Jay grabbed Bob tightly as his eyes shot open. "Now, I want you in me now..." Bob kissed him briefly as he move in-between the sprawled limbs. Jay's hand shot out, located the condoms and pressed one into Bob's palm. "Hurry..." Jay's voice was shaking.

Bob quickly rolled on the condom over his dick and leaned over Jay's prone form. Moving Jay's legs up and over his hips he paused. He thought about the logistics for a moment.

"Bob?" Jay panted. What the fuck was he waiting for, Jay wondered. He was nearly ready to blow it already and now Bob decided to take a break? Anxious for things to move along Jay asked, "Bob, would you please fuck me?"

Bob smiled at the sincerity of the request. If this kept up he'd have to look Jay over for distinguishing marks to make sure it really was Jay. 

Having puzzled a few things out Bob pushed Jay's legs further back and took Jay's hands, placed them under his thighs for support. Jay's legs were now over Bob's shoulders. And if he remembered correctly this should make things a little more enjoyable. Obviously Jay found it move enjoyable already seeing as how his breathing was now erratic. Bob placed his cock at that tight opening and looked down at Jay's face. Jay was panting "Want you, want you, please..." Bob leaned forward and kissed Jay as he pushed slowly into him. The tightness was a welcome relief to Bob, having been hard for the last half-hour. The wait, the anticipation, were all worth it as he felt Jay twitch around his cock.

Jay gave another moan and snaked his hand between them and started to slowly jerk himself to distract him from the burn of being stretched so far open. It hurt some, Bob was so thick. But as Bob shifted he hit that spot again and Jay told him, "There... there..." He could feel Bob angle for that spot again as he endeavored to continue to hit it. The strange twist between the pain and unbelievable pleasure had no comparison to the fact that Bob was fucking him. That thought put all of Jay's senses on overload. This was so hot. Everything Bob was doing, everything he was feeling, had no comparison.

"Oh, fuck... Bob... Please... " Jay panted as Bob's hips began a slow rhythm. Bob thrust slowly into Jay as his mouth caught Jay's again.

Jay moaned and gasped at every movement, his senses thrumming, lost in the act. His hand sped up as Bob's thrusts increased, pushing him, giving it to him and Jay loved him for every moment, wanting it. "Harder... oh fuck... harder..." he called, surprised to hear his own voice asking.

Bob leaned over Jay, trying to keep his rhythm under control, not wanting to hurt Jay. It just felt so damn good. The unbelievable tightness, the warm body pressing against him and the sound of Jay's quickened breath. Bob looked down at Jay, panting and gasping. Jay's hips began to thrust back at him and Bob felt that control starting to slide away. 

Jay's hand worked faster as his eyes closed. He was so close. Bob was pounding into him and Jay could feel his orgasm fast approaching. Then Bob bent him backward a little further and Jay felt Bob scrape that place deep inside him hard. Jay's breathing seized up and he gave a strangled yell as he came. 

As Jay shuddered under him, calling out his name, coming for him, Bob surrendered the last of his control. He quickly thrust into the tight little ass under him a final time and gave a gasp as he came. Jay's legs slid from his shoulders and his hands wrapped around Bob's heaving form as he collapsed on top of Jay. 

"Oh fuck. I think you're gonna have to move Lunchbox, I can't breathe." Jay's voice called to Bob. Bob chuckled and moved off Jay, lying next to him instead. Jay's hand reached out again, searching along the floor. He snagged some article of clothing and wiped himself off as best he could. Next to him Bob discarded the condom into an empty 6 pack box lying on the floor. Jay turned toward Bob and pushed him flat on to his back and reclined on top him. Capturing Bob's mouth in a hot kiss he told Bob in between more kisses, "Damn Lunchbox, you nailed me. That was better than, than anything..." Jay laid his head on Bob's shoulder, still trying to catch his breath. Bob's hands lazily stroked heated skin as Jay shuddered under the gentle assault.

"Bob, I know it probably sounds stupid, but I want you to know that I always wanted you. Not just now, cause you're such a good lay, damn are you a good lay, but cause I loved you way long before this and shit. This was just like confirmation and stuff." Jay sighed, taking a moment to actually think about what he was next going to say. "What I'm saying is I want you. Only you. No one else, ever. Just me and you."

Bob smiled at this and asked softly "'What like steady?'" 

Jay paused a moment, trying to puzzle out what had prompted that unlikely comment and became aware of Bob's chest rumbling under him in mirth. Jay rolled his eyes as he realized that Bob was actually quoting him. Angling his head upward he looked into Bob's amused eyes.

"Fuck yes, 'like steady', you tubby bitch. You ain't gonna hold that shit against me are you? I didn't know you were popping a bone for me when I said that, and that Bethany was hot for an older broad, and I figured we could just live with her..." Jay's rant was cut short by Bob's mouth as he kissed him soundly. Jay forgot about the rest of his thought as Bob's mouth slowly sucked on his lower lip. Indeed Jay almost forgot how to breathe as his eyes shut and he concentrated on the feel of Bob under him, his lips on him.

"Jay?" Bob spoke softly, watching Jay's relaxed expression.

"Uh, yeah?" Jay replied, his voice a gentle whisper, eyes still shut.

"Steady. Just you and me, Jay. No one else. Ever. Sound good?"

"Fuck yeah." A soft exhale.

Silent Bob smiled at the response as he pulled Jay into a tighter embrace and started work on showing Jay exactly how wonderful going 'steady' was going to be.

END


End file.
